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digatisdi:

When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket sort of like this one:

And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.

In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers referred to as a “difficult child” which is code for “walking entity of sass” so I was in the time-out bucket quite a bit.

Once they put me in the bucket for thirty minutes— and I thought that was incredibly unfair so I grabbed the handles and shifted my body repeatedly until the bucket and I were out of the classroom, in the hallway, and through the front door. They found me in the parking lot scooting to freedom in the time-out bucket. The teachers were furious and I said, “Hey, I never left the bucket”

So they called my mum and told her what I did and she just said, “Well, he never left the bucket.”

cappucciinoo:

yes good

conversationparade:

“man lying in bed smiling”

that is not a smile

that is a cry for help　

suncalf:

i was eating a sandwich today and there was a group of people nearby and one of the girls was talking about how she liked some guy and how she wasn’t sure if she should approach him or not and one of her friends looked at her and said in a serious tone “you should try. remember, yolo” and she nodded and smiled and looked reassured and i was so totally thrown by the use of “yolo” in such a deadpan everyday manner that i almost choked on my fucking sandwich　

de0xys:

gomen for party rockin